Being a Skinny Minnie Won’t Make You Happy

Flat stomach. Sleek thighs. Tight tush. Whether you’re a size 18 or size 2, you’ve probably looked in the mirror and desired to see these attributes. As women, we’re taught from an early age that beauty is defined by how you look in a pair of blue jeans, and that an extra squish should be taped down, bound up or just plain sucked out. We toss around phrases like “real women have curves” and “big is beautiful” but most of us don’t feel this way. We subconsciously suck in our post-baby pooch when someone else enters the room, and we thank the Lord for Spanx. We crave the feeling of being “thin,” all while we crave the taste of rich, delicious food. It’s a bad combination. One that results in feelings of discontent and civil war within our bodies.

And while I’m currently using Weight Watchers to maintain my weight and size (I just can’t afford new clothes), I’m keenly aware of the desire to be thinner and thinner and thinner. But where should I stop? I know my body’s limits, but should I push them? At 5′ 10″, I once weighed 140 pounds, which was the thinnest my body ever was. I was a size four, and in the best shape of my life. And I have to admit, being thin felt good. I could wear the latest fashions, and not worry about a distracting bulge or roll. I had a brief modeling stint, rocking the runway in a hair show and rocking a pair of jeans in a catalog shoot. But you know what? As thin as I was, as fit as I was, as smooth as my profile was, I was NOT confident. I was extremely insecure. I placed much of my value in my appearance, and if I was bloated one day, or had a breakout, my self-worth suffered. I was told my hips were two inches, TWO inches, too big to ever model professionally. Keep in mind that my hips were bone at that time. Not rounded like they are now.

Isn’t that sad? Isn’t that pathetic? Yes, but I know I’m not alone. I’m not saying that super thin people aren’t confident, or even that they shouldn’t desire to maintain their size. I’m just saying that if you think changing your size would change your outlook, it probably won’t. Sure, you should try to be healthy, and active, and fit, but simply being thin for the sake of being thin isn’t worth it. At least not in the long run. Because if you’re fortunate enough to have children, your body will change. If you’re fortunate to enjoy rich food and sweet wine, your body will change. If you’re fortunate enough to enjoy a long, full life, your body will change.

Don’t place your value in your waistline, or your cup size, or the firmness of your thighs. Place it in the size of your heart. The quality of your friendships. Place it in things that matter.

And if you have a young daughter, or a older daughter, you’ll want to be wary of them consuming media like this Disney/Barneys promo. Sure, it’s fun and fresh and sure to drive sales just like they desire. But it sends the wrong message. Some say it’s “targeted at adults” so it doesn’t negatively affect girls. But why should we send adult women this message? That we should desire a different body to feel confident. That we can’t rock a runway with our current curves. I’m here to tell you, being a “Skinny Minnie” won’t make you happy. And don’t let Disney, or Barneys, or any other advertisement tell you otherwise.