Here’s my cool kid, always wanting to wear momma’s shades.
The question is, do I want her to be “the cool kid” when she’s older? I’ve been giving this a lot of thought lately. We always want our children to be better off than we were, but I have to admit, I kind of hope she’s a nerd.
Although I got along with nearly everyone in school, I was a tall, goofy-looking nerd (and no, you can’t see the pictures to prove it). And you know what? I think I’m better off because of it. I have more compassion for people who don’t fit in, and I endured many “character-building” situations.
So, what is your hope for your children? That they’re a popular member of the in-crowd or their own unique person, whether that makes them …
A group of lovely young ladies and I meet every Tuesday night for a book study centered around “The Worn Out Woman,” by Dr. Steve Stevens and Alice Gray. We laugh, we cry (well, we will eventually) and together we try to find ways to cope with the whirlwind of life while growing closer to Christ.
We’re all moms, all married, and all yearning to regain our joie de vivre–to be more peaceful, patient and put a little pep back in our step.
One common theme is our perceived lack of “self.” Once you’re a frantic, frazzled momma, what happens to the woman who used to take long bubble baths, spend hours chatting with her best friend or get completely lost in an addictive piece of fiction?
I catch glimpses of her every …
I took my daughter for her one-year check up today. She was poked, prodded and pictures were taken of her insides, and I’m glad to report she’s perfectly healthy.
Healthy. It’s a word I savor. It’s a gift, a fleeting treasure to be enjoyed and protected. As I held her plump little arms down while she was on the X-ray table, I couldn’t help but imagine what it must be like to have a child who was not well. I pictured her in a tiny hospital gown with IV’s embedded in her arm. Pictured her with no hair, smooth-headed after rounds of chemotherapy.
Maybe I’m strange for having these thoughts, but for me, it’s just a way to remind myself of how fortunate I am. So many of my friends and family are facing life-changing health challenges …
I’m convinced we all have addictions. And I’m not just talking about drugs, booze or the “addiction of the year” (a la Tiger Woods & David Duchovny). I’m talking about subtle addictions. The kind that most people will never (or will never admit) realize in themselves.
Do you want to know mine? Lean in real close and I’ll tell you. Approval.
What? You didn’t hear me? I said APPROVAL.
There. I said it. Admitting you have a problem is the first step, right?
And the really sick thing is that I want your approval for admitting that I have an approval addiction. So, don’t enable me! (Unless you really feel the urge, then I won’t hold it against you.)
So…I showed you mine, now show me yours.
My mother taught (and still teaches) by example. These are the lessons I gleaned from her:
5. Always offer someone else the bigger piece of pie, or better yet, the whole pie. No matter how badly you want it, it’ll never taste as good if eaten under selfish motives.
4. Always welcome a phone call from a loved one. Even if you’re too busy, too tired, or too distracted. Stop, listen, and make them feel like the most important person in the world.
3. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all–unless the other person deserves it. Then give them a thoughtful, methodical, even-toned, wickedly-smart toungue lashing.
2. Always have your husband’s back. Always. Even when your daughter comes to you in tears after an argument she had with her father, because deep down …