Discipline isn’t a dirty word.
“Doing what needs to be done, when it needs to be done.”
This is perhaps the simplest definition of discipline, but it’s often not a simple thing to do. (We’re talking self control, not discipline for children.) Until recently, I considered discipline to be a “dirty” word. People who followed a routine, stuck to the basics, put one foot in front of the other, seemed, well, boring. These are the Ned Flanders of the world. Always neat and tidy, never disorganized, often cheery. And that’s the thing. The most disciplined people I know seem…happy. They may lead super busy lives, just like the rest of us, but they seem calm. They rarely lose their keys and rarely show up late. They’re dependable. And dependability makes others happy. Thus increasing the happy factor. Hmm…maybe I should look into this “discipline” thing.
In Chip Ingram’s small group study, he emphasizes the importance of discipline in leading a balanced life. And if I truly want to grow in my Christian walk, I have to give this some serious consideration. Yes, I suppose this takes a bit of discipline in and of itself. Sigh. It’s working already. You see, while I consider myself a responsible person, I’m definitely not disciplined. I often find myself completing projects, heading out the door and checking off my to-do list at the last minute. Why? Because I’m easily distracted by things that don’t need to be done. At least, not at that moment.
For instance, when getting my girls ready in the morning, I often find myself trying to clean the house before we leave. I don’t want to come home to a dirty home, but it often means that we leave the house later than we should. If I just vacuum real quick, or wipe down the counters, or take out the trash, or throw in a load of laundry, it doesn’t take long, right? Only, it does. By adding some more discipline into my routine, I would focus only on getting them dressed, fed, brushed and out the door. Right? Right?! But this is easier said than done.
Discipline requires saying “no” much more than saying “yes,” and this is very hard for me to do. I’m a people pleaser, which ends up pleasing no one. I often over commit, and can’t stand the thought of under delivering. So, I push harder, and often neglect the day-to-day “boring” tasks that need to be done in my own home. Laundry, dishes, organizing…blech! Who wants to do these things when you can be doing big exciting things? I mean, they can wait, right?
Only, by putting off the “necessary” things, we often can’t enjoy the fun things in life. A Saturday morning that should be spent cooking a big breakfast and lounging with family is spent catching up on laundry from the week before. A Sunday evening that should be spent watching a movie while cuddled up with your honey is spent frantically completing a task that’s due Monday morning. A weekday lunch with a friend is rushed because you’ve packed your day with errands that should have been done weeks ago.
And this is the whole point of Chip’s chapter on discipline. God wants us to enjoy life, but we often struggle to do so, because our lack of discipline has caused us to be harried, stressed, a day late and a dollar short. Just imagine how much happier we would be if we wasted less time and money. If we were disciplined. Disciplined disciples. I’m starting to see that maybe it’s not such a dirty word after all.
Don’t take it from me. Take if from the Book.
Proverbs 25:28 GWT: Like a city broken into and left without a wall, so is a person who lacks self-control.
Proverbs 5:23 (NIV): He will die for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great folly.
Proverbs 6:23 (NIV): For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way to life”
Thanks, Cat! I needed this. With all 4 kiddos in school now, my lack of discipline is seriously becoming evident. I’m learning that at least some structure is good for me. Otherwise I can always say: oh, I’ll get to it tomorrow…
Oh, I struggled before we started Anna in preschool. It was hard to keep myself in a routine, because I’d never had that much “free” time before. And now that you’ve (somewhat) got your time back to yourself, you’ll have to find what works for you. By the way, I’m super jealous of you right now. I’ll be there someday… 🙂
I am an empty nester and although I have every Monday morning, entire Wednesday and Friday afternoons off, I think my lunch time on Tues. and Thurs. are when I need to be running errands and getting things done since I leave the house at 6:30 a.m. and don’t return until at least 7 p.m. My mom texted me one day and asked if I would like to come up for lunch. They only live a few blocks from me and I try to see them every day, but sometimes it just doesn’t happen. I thought it would be nice to have lunch and visit with her and my dad, who’s health has been rapidly deteriorating the past year, so I went up and had a nice home cooked meal and a nice visit before I had to go back to work for the afternoon. The next full day I worked she texted me again and asked if I would like to come up for lunch. I really needed to get some things done at the bank and the post office and had some laundry that needed switching over, but I again said I would come over. Every Tues. and Thurs. at about 11:55 I get a text with the lunch menu she’s prepared wanting to know if I would like to come over for lunch. After the first few times, I thought, “I really want to just go home and get some things done so I don’t have so much to do when I get home at 7 tonight.” but I continued to go each and every time she texted me. She started telling me that my dad was asking her if she’d texted me yet. He’d say, “Is Shelly coming for lunch today? Have you texted her yet?” When I come to the front door he’s always sitting in the chair right beside it waiting for me so he can tell me, “Come in this house. Don’t knock. How’s my beautiful daughter?” We’ll sit down to lunch, and Dad will usually give the blessing. Sometimes when he’s just not feeling up to it, when he’s aching and tired, he’ll say, “Mom, you say it.” Yesterday she was a little weepy when he asked her to say it, so she looked at me and nodded and I knew she wanted me to say it. I felt so blessed at that moment that I’ve had all these years with my parents. I squeezed both their hands while I gave the blessing and thanked God for the most wonderful parents a girl could have. Mom always makes a huge meal and I thank her before heading back to work, but she always thanks ME for coming over. She told me yesterday that she’s so glad I come eat with them every Tues. and Thurs. on my lunch since I’m such a busy person. I told her of course I would, what else would I do? Then she told me she cried the first time she texted me and asked me to come for lunch when I texted back and said ‘sure’. When I asked her why, she said, “Because I didn’t think you would want to spend your lunch with us when you could be getting things done.” I was a SAHM for 18 years and they were the best days of my life. Don’t get me wrong. I loved it when my kids were in school and I got little breaks. My mom was the best grandma too. She had the kids over all the time and had block parties for all the neighborhood kids. Anything my kids wanted she would do for them. I miss my kids dearly now, but I also love being an empty nester and enjoying my time with my hubby again. I don’t know how much longer my parents will be on this earth, but as long as they’re here, you can bet I’m going over for lunch when she texts me the menu on Tues. and Thurs. and I’ll wait to get all “my other stuff” done on my time off on other days. Just like being a SAHM, I’m going to enjoy them while they’re here, because one day they’ll be gone.
Oh Shelly- This was such a beautiful message! I cried reading it. For so many reasons. Thank you for your story, and keep up those visits! 🙂