If you want to steal my show…

I had a job interview this week, for a position I really, really hope I get. It’s ideal for me, for my family, and I feel that I would be great fit for the organization. It all seems to make sense. The interview went well, I built rapport, felt at ease, and gave an authentic representation of myself and my abilities. I left it all on the table. I shook hands, and walked away knowing I’d done my best. So why am I worried? Why am I anxiously checking my phone, my email? I know it’s in God’s hands. I know. And yet, I worry. Worry that if this doesn’t work out, it must mean I’m not good enough. But despite my level of anxiety, it’s nowhere near what it would have been six months ago. Something has changed in me, something in my core. I haven’t stopped worrying, but I worry less. And if you’re a chronic worrier (like I was), you know that less worry is a blessed thing.

There’s a song I heard recently, interestingly enough right before my interview, that delivered a message to my heart in a unique way. It was the first time I’d heard “Steal My Show,” by Toby Mac, and I knew the song was meant for me. As I drove confidently down the highway, toe of my sensible-yet-stylish business shoe pressed on the gas, hair pulled back in a no-fuss sleek ponytail, I answered possible interview questions in my head. What could I bring to this position? What are areas I need to work on? If I could only wear one t-shirt the rest of my life with one word on it, what would it be? (I was asked that once.) But then, I heard:

If You wanna steal my show, I’ll sit back and watch You go
If You got somethin’ to say, go on and take it away

Here I was pretending this was my show. I was in control of this situation. I alone could influence the outcome. But these words and this song brought me peace, and it’s been my anthem for the past several days. If this is his plan, it would be an amazing gift, one that I would enjoy.  But if God doesn’t want this to work out, if he’s got better plans for me, why not let him steal my show? I guess we’ll see what he does next. 🙂