Prayer of the Weary Mother
Lord, I am tired. Head down at 11 p.m. Head up at 5 a.m. With three interruptions in between. I’m not sure how much longer I can last. Years of inadequate sleep have taken their toll on my body. My mind. I am tired. So tired.
And when I feel this way, it’s so hard to let your light shine. It’s not that I want to hide it under a bushel, I just want to crawl under that bushel and go to sleep. Sweet…sleep.
Lord, you’ve known great fatigue, even worse than this. And yet, you kept your eyes focused on your Father. One foot in front of the other, you trudged up that hill, to that place where your life would end. And yet now, I realize, even you fell. Even you struggled under the weight of your cross, and didn’t deny help when it was offered to you.
Help me to know when to ask for help. Help me to power through when I don’t feel like I can. And help me to shine whatever light I can muster. Help me to snap less at my children. Help me to give less exasperated sighs towards my husband. Help me to reflect you, no matter how dark the circles under my eyes may be.
My prayer is not for more sleep, although I would welcome that gift from you with abundant gratitude. My prayer is not for more energy, although I know that with a little boost, I could better serve others. My prayer is to remain open to your will, remain open to your call, in spite of the physical state of my body. Help me keep my weary eyes focused upward, rather than nodding off on this earth.
Much like you rebuked your disciples in the garden, help me to remember:
Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak. -Matthew 26:41 NIV
My body is weak, but my spirit is willing. Help me not fall into the temptation of slothfulness and diversion, and remind me of my big-term goals, not short-term satisfaction.
On my own, this is not possible. But with you, there’s hope:
Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.” -Mark 10:27 NIV
Be my hands when tiredness fumbles and falters. Be my eyes when sleepiness weighs heavily. Be my mouth when exasperation speaks instead of love. I have been driven to my knees by exhaustion, and here I find you. Hold me in your arms and help me find rest. Not of this world, but of yours. Restore my spirit with energy anew. Make me whole again as a mother and disciple.
Amen.
Truly beautiful! I have wondered how I got through 1993-2003 when my kids were small and I had very little sleep. After reading your prayer, I realize all those prayers I mumbled and the grace of God are the reason. It will get better; different and better!
This is beautiful, Cat. I don’t suffer from lack of sleep, but the reminder to have a willing spirit speaks to me. Thanks!
The boy still wakes at least once a night. Writing, I’m often not in bed until close to 1, then up when he wakes for whatever reason: water, bathroom, bad dream, why isn’t the sun up yet because I’m awake, Mommy! Then I’m up for work by 6 (I technically need to leave by 6 but, well, no.) Restore my spirit with energy anew. I needed that today.