I gave love away, and got more love than I deserved in return.
Two years ago, in a Wal-Mart parking lot, I failed God. I passed by a dejected man, standing in the sweltering middle-of-July Kansas heat. I only looked at him long enough to see his sign reading “Will Work For Food.” In my passenger seat were 20 or so ice-cold Powerades, just purchased inside, condensation beading up on chilled bottles to match the beads of sweat pouring down this man’s face. I couldn’t give him money, or food, but I could give him refreshment. And I did nothing. I ignored that small voice. I just drove on by.
All the way home, my heart ached. I knew I’d done wrong. But I didn’t turn around. Later, I begged God for forgiveness, and a second …
I am SO in love with these sweet sisters. My children. My heart.
There are times when things settle down, when the crying subsides, when the whining takes a break, and I can simply enjoy the presence of my children. We’re entering an “easier” season of parenthood, sure to be followed by a hard one. But I don’t want to worry about that. I just want to enjoy. Things are still crazy, still hectic, still messy, but either it’s getting better, or I’ve just adjusted my outlook and am better able to cope. Either way, it’s a blessing.
Daily, sometimes hourly tantrums have gone to weekly. Constant monitoring has gone to frequent sideways glances (as I hear a bowl of dry Cheerios spill in the next room). Things aren’t easy, but they’re easier. I’m only getting …
A perfect couple. A perfect day. Yes, it is possible.
What happens when a nerdy white boy from Kansas marries a sweet lively señorita from California? When a software engineer says “I do” to an interior decorator? When two cultures mingle together at a beautiful, remote B&B? Only the best. wedding. ever.
My wicked smart big brother Luke was betrothed to the love of his life Luisa at Cedar Crest Lodge in Pleasanton, KS last weekend. And while I’ll always hold my own wedding in a sacred place in my heart, I have to say this was one of the most beautiful events I’ve ever been to. The love was palpable. The weather impeccable. And the decor more than perfect (it deserves its own blog post). The glowing bride walked down the aisle to the sounds …
Her hands have taken care of others for years. Now, she’s the one in need of care. (photo credit: jackchapman.info)
Today, I saw two helpless people, each unable to take care of themselves, each needing someone to nurture them, to love them. One was a preschool-aged girl, crumbled on the floor of her caretaker’s home, sobbing. Her parents had just divorced, and she just couldn’t understand why mommy left. The other, an elderly woman, delicate but healthy yesterday, suffered a massive stroke this morning, which stole most of what was left of her abilities.
Tonight, they’re both scared, both confused. Their worlds have been shattered. In different ways, but still shattered. The ask, “Why did this happen to me? Who will take care of me?”
They’re powerless over their situations. Both at the mercy of life’s caretakers. …
Moms, some days it’s hard to let ourselves be loved exactly how we are. We think he must be up to something when he shows affection. How could he possibly be attracted to this? Doesn’t he see these dark circles? Doesn’t he feel the extra pounds I’ve put on? When we reject ourselves, we can end up rejecting others without even realizing it.
You wonder why I wonder
Why you’re staring at me
When I look in the mirror
I don’t see what you see
I see a tired mother
You see a grown-up girl
I see an empty shell
You see your whole world
I rarely put on makeup
You hardly seem to mind
I stress and fret and fuss
You just want me to unwind
I worry that you’ll …
May you always be this happy. May he always sweep you off your feet. Or at least sweep the kitchen floor. That’s pretty darn romantic, too.
To my dearest cousin Rachel,
How I wish I could be with you today. To see your glorious smile in person as you walk down the aisle and start the next chapter in your life. Fondly, I remember the many days and nights we spent together at Grandma and Grandpa’s, spying on our relatives, giggling until tears fell, and performing three-act plays in the living room for innocent bystanders.
I hope your future husband knows how lucky he is. You’re a catch, to say the least. You’re beautiful, intelligent, funny, and have a heart big enough to accommodate countless friends and our entire amazing family. I’ve always admired how you’ve lived life …