The shameful secret I’m hiding in my purse

I have something to tell you. Something I’ve been too ashamed to reveal. Something only my closest friends and family members know about me. Something I keep tucked away in my purse, and cringe at every time I have to pull it out. I…have…a feature phone. An old feature phone. A Zack Morris brick phone, as one friend affectionately calls it. So now you know. Are you shocked? Surprised that I, a heavy user of social media, a lover of all things technology related, don’t have a smart phone?

While attending an American Marketing Association luncheon lately, guest speaker Simon Salt of Incslingers asked the audience, “How many of you have a feature phone?” My hand almost shot up, because I thought a few others would be joining me. Nobody. My hand instantly covered the pocket in my purse where I keep my phone, afraid someone would call me out. Simon looked around the room and said, “Nobody. Nobody has a feature phone anymore.” Well, he’d said it. I’m nobody. Nobody with a plain jane, good for nothing (except making phone calls) phone. (He went on to deliver an exceptional presentation on mobile marketing, and is a genuinely nice and funny fellow)

On the one hand, it’s not something I’m proud of. It’s old, seldom works well, and is nearly as clunky as that Saved by the Bell version. But on the other hand, I think I’ve managed pretty well without one. Sure, I used to have a Droid for my big-girl job, so I know my way around a smart phone. And I borrow my husband’s Droid while he’s driving, much to his chagrin. So why haven’t I upgraded? I’ve had this little beauty for more than three years, so I’m eligible for one.

Yesterday, my phone wouldn’t end a call. Try as I may, the “End” button did nothing. So, I took the battery out, and realized how silly this all was. This phone is a piece of junk. So why not take the plunge and get a smart phone? Well, there are several reasons:

1. They’re expensive. Sure, I can get a free model, but then there’s the data package. We’re on a super tight budget, people. There’s just not much wiggle room for this anymore.

2. I’m cheap. Even when I could afford one, I didn’t have one. After going through heck and back to rid myself of credit card debt, I’m hesitant to spend money on anything frivolous. It’s just that practical Kansas farm town side of me.

3. I’m afraid of the distractions. I already find myself distracted enough by my laptop, so what if I had a miniature one wherever I went. Would I ever unplug? Sure, I have Social Free Sundays, but what about those times when I’m away from home and grateful to be disconnected. Will I have enough self control not to take a tiny peek at my social networks?

As torn as I am about this decision, I’ll have to make it soon. Do I stay in the dark ages and get another no-bells-and-whistles phone? Or do I find a way to afford a data package, and keep up with the rest of you? Or, do I just forgo getting another phone, and drop off the grid entirely? (Joking, but it sounds nice sometimes.) Sigh, don’t you just hate these first-world problems (where we’re lucky to even have a choice at all)?