Avert your eyes (or something like that)

I have four nephews, the oldest of whom is only five years younger than me. They’re more like little brothers than nephews, especially since I spent so many hours babysitting them when they were younger. They’re all good kids, and most of all, they’re funny. Even when they’re not trying to be.

Around 10 years ago, we were headed on a family trip to a lake in southwest Missouri. Driving down scenic highways in eastern Kansas, we pointed out historical markers, interesting buildings and run-down ghost towns. The trip was full of laughs, as usual, but none could compare to what would happen on our way back. As we neared the outskirts of the lake, a flashing red sign signaled a solitary business nestled in a clump of tall trees. “XXX” the sign beckoned, above a mud-flap girl silhouette. It was one of those kinds of businesses.

“Mom, what’s that?,” my young nephew asked. My dear sister, caught off-guard by this roadside raunchiness, did her best to handle the situation. “Avert your eyes. That’s not for children.” This didn’t seem to satisfy their curiosity. “What does ‘avert’ mean? Why isn’t it for kids?” She calmly replied, “Avert means to look away. And I’ll tell you about it when you’re older.” As we arrived at the lake cabin, thoughts of this awkward encounter were long forgotten as the days were filled with swimming, splashing and card playing until the wee hours.

Too soon, the trip was over, and we packed up the minivan and headed home. Rounding the bend where the “adult” store was located, I had no idea it would be a topic of discussion again, until my nephew called out with a straight face, “Hey everyone, PERVERT your eyes!” First, there was wide-eyed shock, then side-splitting laughter. My sister, trying to talk through her chortles, questioned his word choice. “Why would you SAY that?” It was an honest mistake. He was rather perplexed why everyone was laughing. “What? I thought it meant to look away.”

Of ALL the words he could have chosen, THIS was the funniest. And from now on, whenever we approach an XXX sign, I can’t help but chuckle.