Internal Dialogue of Terror on a Tiny Ferris Wheel

The following is my external/internal dialogue while riding the tiny Ferris Wheel with my preschooler at our small town carnival.

Oh look, honey, our car is purple! You like purple. 
Ohmygosh, that thing is tiny. I’m going to die in a tiny purple Ferris Wheel car!
Ok, sweetie, we put this seat belt over our laps. It will keep us safe. And this bar will, too.
No. It won’t keep us safe, we’re going to fall out and die!
Here we go. It’s going to be so fun. Are you excited? 
I don’t want to go. It’s not fun. I’m terrified!
Whee! Look at all the lights! 
Craaaaaap! Look at how flimsy this thing is!
Ok, we have to stop for a little bit up here so other people can get off and on.
MOMMY, I CAN SEE THE WHOLE WORLD FROM UP HERE. LOOK! LOOK! LOOK! 
I don’t want to look! Let us down, let us down, let us dooooown. Now, now!
See, it rocks a little bit, but it’s ok. Just hold on tight. 
Shiiiiiitake mushrooms! Stop moving, stop moving, stop moving!
See daddy? Wave at daddy!
*waving arms wildly* HI DADDY! HI!
Stop moving! He’s going to see us die on a Ferris Wheel.
It’s going really fast now, isn’t that fun? Do you feel your tummy tickling?
Shiiiiiiiiimy shimmy cocoa puffs! I don’t like it, I don’t like it. Ahhhh….Kelly Clarkson! I’m going to puke!
Whee! You’re doing great baby. You’re so brave!
Never again. Never again. Never again.
It’s slowing down now. We’ll be getting off soon. 
Thank God, thank God, thank God.
CAN WE DO IT AGAIN MOMMY? THAT WAS FUN!
Maybe honey, maybe.
Absolutely not. Ever.