Santa doesn’t like stinky people (aka my ugly parenting moment)
I often hear people say they just “make” their kids do things. This perplexes me. I mean, it’s fairly easy with my fifteen month old, but nearly impossible with my three year old. She’s strong when she’s mad. I mean, super strong. And besides, physically forcing my child to do something against their will is a bit traumatic (unless it’s taking necessary medicine, then I just sit on her). Oh yeah, I also threw out my lower back, and hubby was gone, so physical force really wasn’t an option.
So, when my eldest daughter refused to take a bath, I was beyond frustrated. Bath refusal is something new. Here’s how our little exchange went:
…………
Honey, it’s bath time. Please get in with your sister.
No, I don’t need a bath.
Yes, you do honey. You didn’t take one yesterday, so you really need one today.
But, I don’t want to take a bath.
I know, honey, it’s not always fun to do things we don’t want to. But you’ll feel better once you do.
No!
Yes! You’re getting in this bath now. You need a bath.
But why? (Why? Why? Why? Why?!)
Because you’re sweaty, and you have lollipop in your hair, and you have old bandages dangling from your skinned up knees, you peed yourself outside, and your feet are muddy.
But we can just wipe me down with a washcloth.
No, you need to sit in the bath. I’m going to count to three…
But wash me in the sink. You can even wash my hair in the sink.
(Parents, if you don’t have a plan for “after 3,” don’t start counting. I had no plan, and she knew it.)
Anna, you are really stinky. Do you want to be stinky?
Yes, I like being stinky. Stinky is nice.
(Oh Lord. I was going to have to pull out the big guns.)
You know, Santa is watching you right now. And he wants you to take a bath.
But why? (Why? Why? Why? Why?!)
Because he only brings toys to little girls who listen to their mommy.
I’m listening. I just don’t want to take a bath.
You HAVE to take a BATH!!!!
But why? (Why? Why? Why? Why?!)
Because Santa doesn’t like STINKY people!!!
…………
Wow. I still can’t believe I said that. I immediately apologized. “Mommy shouldn’t have said that. Santa likes all people. Even stinky ones.” We compromised on her standing in the bath while I rinsed her down. This will go down in my parenting hall of shame. It can only go up from here.
OMG, that’s hilarious. I think it was an ingenious reason.
On a side note, I used to watch a toddler ( i know she isn’t quite a toddler anymore)who hated bathing but loved playing with sensory things. I squirted a few mini mountains of super cheap shaving cream into the tub that she could play with and smear and shape and everything. We had played with it on the Kitchen table before. In the tub, not only did she get *really* clean (what do they put in that stuff) but she had fun and didn’t argue with me.
The entire argument went something like.
‘It’s time for a bath now.’
‘No’.
‘Yes’. (realizing i needed a new tactic)
‘No. I don’t want to.’
‘It could be fun. We could play with shaving cream.’
*pauses to think* ‘mm…ok.’
Used the shaving cream trick tonight, and it kept her in there long enough to wash her down. 🙂 But then, she started getting a rash…
OMG! I’m so sorry! I’ve never seen that happen before…
Oh honey, it wasn’t your fault at all! I’ve let her “finger paint” with it before, but her chest skin must have been more sensitive.
hysterical! All of my kids went thru an anti bath phase when they were 2-3 years old. in the summer we tricked my oldest into playing in his wading pool and then we added bubbles and tht was so fun we put bubbles in his hair (shampoo!)
So when did they grow out of it?
We’ve all been there. I told my son bugs would hatch eggs on them like they do the stinky dog poop in the back yard. We never a miss a bath or shower now.
Nice! I might have to use that one…
I love that she sticks to her guns, wash me in the sink, stinky is nice! Is she your daughter or what? lol!
Wait, are you saying I like to be stinky? 😉
I frequently trick children with art. “We can paint with the messy paints, but that means we will have to take baths tonight!”
But what if your kid likes being messy? 🙂
Man, if that goes in your ugly parenting hall of fame, you’re definitely on santa’s good list. now if you would have sat on her in the bath….
Ha! Don’t tempt me…
this is weird because i was thinking about you last night – i know – but, i was bribing my 4 year old into the bath. he has a sore throat and i want to warm vapor him up. the only way i could get him in was with a cold ice pop. it was first for me. he loved it. 🙂
Here’s something you might try. I was never that good at it, but other moms are and it does work. I’m sure the experts will agree. (ha) I know it’s recommended for kids with ODD. Give her choices. “You can take a bath or you can take a shower. Which do you choose?” (I know she’s not quite old enough for the shower by herself yet.) Have you tried the paints or crayons you can use in the tub? Windup tub toys? Barbie dolls in the bath with her? Hey, whatever works, right?
I will definitely try every trick in the book. If she’s only mildly dirty, I let it slide. But if she’s filthy, she’s getting clean one way or another!