Shut Yo Mouth! 3 Things Not to Ask At-Home Parents
These are actual things that people have asked me since I decided to stay home with my girls a little less than two months ago. I’m getting a little tired of pushing my right eye back into my head (it pops out a little when I get angry), so I decided to provide some “education” to those who may come into contact with a SAHM, WAHM, SAHD, WAHD, or whatever term you prefer.
Please, please, please don’t ask me:
1. How are you enjoying your retirement?
My response: “How are you enjoying your ignorance?”
Retirement? Are you kidding? Staying home with your kids is really no different than having a full-time job outside of the home. And why is it that if you have the title “daycare provider,” people understand what you do all day? You take care of kids. Well, as an at-home parent, you take care of kids (and a lot more). It’s simple, really.
2. Isn’t it nice to have a clean home?
My response: “Yes, it is nice. Someday, I’ll know what that’s like.”
I, too, once thought that staying home would mean non-sticky floors, crumb-free couches and panes of glass you can actually see through. Wrong. My at-home friends tried to warn me, but I had to find out the hard way. Fact: while you’re cleaning room A, your kids are destroying room B. Fact: When you cook 3 meals a day (+ snacks) in your kitchen, it gets dirty, really dirty. My favorite phrase: “Trying to clean house while the kids are still growing is like trying to shovel snow while it’s still snowing.”
3. Don’t you get tired of couponing?
My response: “Don’t you get tired of throwing money away?”
Yes, I get tired of couponing (and deal searching, and garage sale shopping, etc.). My college education did not include “Scissor Savvy 101,” but maybe it should have. It takes time and effort to find ways to cut your family’s expenses. Some say it’s like a part-time job, and they’re right. Recently, I discovered our family’s expenses dropped by 56% once I stopped working outside the home! But that didn’t just “happen.” It takes time and effort. It’s not some fun, new hobby. It’s essential to making this lifestyle choice possible.
So, now that you know the things not to ask me, here’s a safe bet:
How are you enjoying the extra time with your kids?
My response: “:-) 🙂 :-)”
People don’t get it. I know. I’ve been on both sides. Having gone the opposite direction, from WAHM to mom with an office job, I thought my house would be cleaner on this side of the equation because, duh, we’re not there during the day. Well, the “duh” was on me. My kids can undo more housekeeping in the 1.5 hours before I get home than I can recover from in the scant minutes I have to myself between their bedtime and mine. The snow-shoveling analogy is AWESOME.
So, the moral of this story is that until your kids are out of the house, it will be messy? 🙂
LOVE THIS! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to say Shut Yo Mouth! I’ve heard the “are you enjoying your retirement?” question too many times to count. Yes, I enjoy being home. I do enjoy being able to keep up with housework (for the most part, but my kids are in school) and saving money is awesome. But the best part is being home with my kids.
Today is the first day of summer and I’m as excited as they are! I love seeing them everyday, brainstorming fun things for our summer bucket list and being able to take the time to smell the roses or the kids’ stinky little heads. As Joseph goes into middle school I am realizing that time is even more precious than I previously even imagined.
Will they drive me bananas by the end of the summer, scratch that, end of today? Probably. But its worth it. So worth it.
Oh Andrea, you’ve definitely been an inspiration to me! Thank you for your wise words and friendship. 🙂
I have so much respect for you staying home with your kids and just managing to stay sane let alone get everything else done. I love my girls, but I’m pretty sure I would end up in a padded room somewhere (probably sooner rather than later). I think that most individuals that see being a stay at home/work at home parent as eating bonbons and watching your “stories” all day have never had to actually do it. I had 3 blissful months of this after college and was on the verge of taking my kids to Nebraska and dropping them off at the nearest fire station when I finally got a job offer. There is a special place in Heaven for individuals like you. Maybe you could get a second job by teaching others how to shop savvy, I bet WSU would love to add that to the catalog 🙂