She’s real. And she lives in West Wichita.
There she was, in real life, tall, bottle blonde, tan and wearing spandex as it was meant to be worn. She had pep in her step, pearls for teeth and a perkiness that indicated silicone (if you catch my drift). She emerged from the church carefree and unburdened as I was walking in with a baby slung up on one hip, and a toddler gripping my free hand. I was schlepping, she was practically bouncing. She had style, she had grace, I probably had graham cracker on my face. (No, seriously, Erica had been munching on them on the way in.)
So what was she doing here, at this mega-lo-church, where I was dropping off my kiddos for four hours of social interaction? I was already a bit …
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest…oh who cares?
By society’s standards, I am not a stunning, beautiful woman. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’m hideous. I can relate to this line from one of Gretchen Wilson’s honky-tonk tunes: “I may not be a ten, but the boys say I clean up good.” Give me a shower, some makeup and a flattering dress and I’m not too shabby.
No, I’m not fishing for compliments or affirmations of my appearance. Rather, this is a celebration of my imperfections. There are things on my body that are large when they’re supposed to be small (pores, nose, feet). And there are things on my body that are small when they’re supposed to be large (use your imagination).
But you know what? I’m glad. So glad that I …
Yes, these two are actually a full-time job.
These are actual things that people have asked me since I decided to stay home with my girls a little less than two months ago. I’m getting a little tired of pushing my right eye back into my head (it pops out a little when I get angry), so I decided to provide some “education” to those who may come into contact with a SAHM, WAHM, SAHD, WAHD, or whatever term you prefer.
Please, please, please don’t ask me:
1. How are you enjoying your retirement?
My response: “How are you enjoying your ignorance?”
Retirement? Are you kidding? Staying home with your kids is really no different than having a full-time job outside of the home. And why is it that if you have the title “daycare provider,” people understand what you …
What’s one of the most loving things you can do for your children? Show yourself some love!
Today, I had to say something very difficult to my daughter. While I wholeheartedly believe it needed to be said, I could barely let the words escape my lips.
You see, my daughter has been going through somewhat of a “princess” phase lately. Despite our best efforts to divert her attention elsewhere, it’s hard to stop the pink train. So, we’ve decided to let her ride, but with our supervision and guidance along the way.
Lately, she’s been obsessed with wearing dresses. “Princesses don’t wear pants!” Ugh. This morning, she said something to me that made my heart break a little. Frustrated that she wasn’t able to put her necklace on “just right,” she sneered at me, “You’re not pretty! …
I don’t cuss. Really, I don’t. It’s not that I never have occasion to, I’ve just somehow managed to restrain myself and rarely let a four-letter word slip past my lips. But I have to admit that if you’d been able to see the thought bubbles over my head during the past 24 hours, you probably would’ve blushed. (Ok, most of it was PG-13.)
My baby’s first birthday party is tomorrow, and I just wanted to make some pretty sugar cookies to give as favors. Is that too much to ask? Yes, yes it is. Sadly, this isn’t a tale of my domestic prowess in the kitchen. In fact, if those type of “look how clever I am” mommy blog posts make you feel inferior, this one will probably give you a huge boost of confidence. …
Awhile back, I shared my feelings of helplessness and frustration when my super strong-willed toddler threw the Mother of all Meltdowns. Since then, I’ve decided to really focus on identifying situations which might set her off again, and try to create a positive environment for her. Here are some things I tried, which have been fairly successful so far. I should preface these tips with this disclaimer: I am by no means a parenting expert. In fact, there are times when I’m so awkward in public with my kids that people probably don’t think they’re mine.
She loves helping me cook! Maybe she’ll take over on making meals someday.
1. Ask them to help. Chances are, they would love to help you with mundane tasks, like putting detergent in the washing machine, clearing the …