Dark pink. Bright yellow. Dark pink. Bright yellow. My eyes searched through green t-shirts, white leggings, denim shorts and purple rompers until they landed on a dark pink tank top and bright yellow sun dress. My children. I leaned back against the glass wall, and relaxed into the cushioned bench that rested on top of the shoe cubby. The play area at Chick-fil-A was packed, probably fifteen or so preschoolers and toddlers, all eager for a chance to expend some of their energy. Outdoor parks aren’t a good option at the moment, as flooding rains have turned them into mud holes and mosquito feasting grounds.
We were enjoying a lovely day, me and my girls, despite my churning stomach, waves of hot flashes and light head. These …
The smell of a dying fire swirled through the air as the sound of crickets filled the dark silent space. My left hip bone dug into the hard ground, it’s own layer of fat and the thick sleeping bag underneath providing a slim layer of comfort. Our first family camping experience would prove to be memorable, even if uncomfortable.
While my heart beat contentedly in my non-sleeping chest, full of love and gratitude, my body ached. My neck rested at an odd angle, perched atop a caramel-colored teddy bear named Frances. Pressed against my back was my sleeping preschooler, and tucked under my left arm was my sleeping toddler. Her auburn hair, badly in need of a trim, was pasted to her forehead and neck, and her hot breath hit my face with …
Her eyes are crystal blue
They sparkle bright and true
Her auburn hair it shimmers
In the sunlight how it glimmers
A blessing we’ve been given
A daughter and a sibling
A sweet and silly baby
Growing into a young lady
Her laughter shrieks and giggles
With peek-a-boo and tickles
Her hugs and kisses dear
Are the most tender and sincere
I know this little girl
She came into our world
All plump and round and sweet
What a joy to meet
Oh. My. God. OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!
My hands were shaking and my heart bulging from every artery when I saw what was on the screen. A picture of me. Well, half of me. From the waist down. Pants around my ankles. Sitting on the toilet. On Instagram.
Did it post? Did it post? I didn’t know. My phone was frozen. I clicked, nothing would work. I was unable to delete, rewind, go back. My life was ruined. Ruined.
“I take your picture Mommy! Yaaaaay! I did it! Yaaaay! You like it?” My round-faced toddler hovered at my feet, right near where my pants were not yet pulled up. “I take your picture Mommy! I did it! See?”
I had to move to Mexico. I have to delete the Internet. All …
Bears and toddlers may exhibit a “grimace” before attacking. Proceed with caution.
They can look cute and cuddly from a distance. Bumbling around, frolicking in the wilderness, foraging for a tasty snack of juicy berries. But then, something sets them off. They feel threatened and are unable to communicate like an adult human. Suddenly, often without warning, they attack. Growling, snarling, sometimes biting. You’ve been warned.
Bear or toddler? Take your pick.
Once my “perfect” baby, my toddler’s behavior lately could be described “like a bear.” And today, she proved that analogy true. Determined to get a snack out of the “baby proofed” cabinet, she gripped the plastic sliding lock with her mighty toddler claw, and broke it. Just snapped it in two. And before my husband could stop her, she started ripping into a box of cereal. …
Mom…can I have…um….
WHAT?! You’re stressing me out, kid!
Some days, I am full of love and patience and only soft words for my children. Other days, though, I am impatient and unkind. I am Old Yeller. Trivial things get under my skin. Usually ones that happen after some major annoyance. (Like the toddler knocking over an entire two-liter of Sierra Mist on purpose as you’re pouring a little bit for your sick preschooler who’s laying on the couch. And that was after the dog puked on the floor and the kitty jumped up on the kitchen counter and ate my breakfast.) There are times when I imagine living with cameras in my house, recording my every move. Super Nanny wouldn’t approve.