We just can’t picture our life without her.

After years of failed attempts, I finally captured a decent photo of our sweet dog Morgan today. Her all-black coat gives little contrast, meaning most photos were a black blob. But today, the lighting was just right. I was experimenting with my new (to me) camera while playing outside with the girls, and I snapped this picture. I was thrilled. After all, we’re not completely certain how long we’ve got left with her.

Last week, we found out that she had a mast cell tumor growing on her left side. (You can see the shaved patch and stitches in the photo.) This week, we found out her cancer is at Stage 2, meaning it has the potential to grow. While this isn’t the best news, it wasn’t the worst. Multiple scans showed it’s not growing yet. But it probably will, meaning she’ll start chemotherapy next week. It’s all so strange. Our dog has cancer. Our dog needs chemo. She’ll go in once a week for four weeks, and then once every other week for four more treatments. The chemo, unlike human the human form, will not make her sick or make her fur fall out. Her white blood cell counts will need to be checked each week, to ensure that treatment can be continued. We’re lucky. This is a very common form of cancer, and it usually responds well to treatment. And, it won’t leave us bankrupt. We have an amazing country vet whose prices are very reasonable.

But, there’s that part of me, my highly developed worry bone, that can’t help but feel a little scared. She’s been a part of our family for nearly as long as we’ve been married. She’s our “first born.” She’s a lap dog, and a guard dog. She’s a hunting dog, and a house dog. She’s a cuddle partner, and a running partner. Basically, she’s the perfect dog. Except for the cancer. She’s just always been there, all tail wags and slobbery kisses. We’ll lose her someday, but I don’t want it to be anytime soon. She loves her country home, and we love our country dog. We can’t picture our life without her, and hopefully we don’t have to for many, many years.